Thank You All
Thank you to all who have offered condolences and warm thoughts in the past weeks.
This photo is from the "Celebration of Life" event we had at Mt. Soledad, the last formal event as part of my Grandfather's funeral services. Other posts about this are here: Previously, previously, and previously.
I semi-dropped off the grid, quit my dayjob, went freelance, and Leah and I are working our issues out in a mode of honesty and quasi-separation and a sensitivity to good BOUNDARIES. I have acknowledged the fact that yes, she is mentally ill, and yes, that affects our relationship, and no, her feeling shame about that is no good, and me being in denial about that is no good either. I was in denial a long time. So we take it a day at a time, and move forward.
That's me explaining San Diego harbor to my cousin Michael.
Other changes have been in the area of health. I had had a housemaid's knee for a full month. It was a collection of viscous fluid just below the skin and over my knee -- painful, sensitive. I was concerned it would last forever, that it would need to be drained, etc. Luckily, After 8 weeks it did eventually subside. I got it after falling heavily on pavement on September 12th. It might be hard to see, since I was nearly 400 pounds, is that in the past year I've lost about 70 pounds. The numbers are iffy here, because my scale's accuracy is poor. But I have lost several pants sizes and now fit into shirts I very much did not fit into a year ago. In fact, one pair of pants looks like one of those "big pants weight loss photos" on me. So I'm happy for the weight loss and the better mobility that affords. It's frustrating to see photos of me and see a fat man, still, but I can see that the fat man is less fat anyway.
Weight loss is maddeningly gradual, and unpredictable for me now. I eat less, and I do more. But I've not given up sweets. I tried a Hostess Orange Cupcake and for many months a staple meal was McDonald's: small coke, milk, 3 chocolate chip cookies, and a double cheeseburger (skip the bun). This is a cheap meal (my boys love the Carl's Jr. burgers which cost about the same as my whole staple meal), and has been a part of my weight loss non-plan for about 6 months.
The main thing that I can feel has changed has been my awareness of stress eating. Eating out of habit, eating for emotional reasons. MAS has been instrumental in getting me to think about eating. I know I don't eat as he might recommend me to eat, but I have started to think more about what it means to eat, and fast, and exercise, and live. I never used to do that. To me, the body was not important: it's the mind - intellectual pursuits are paramount; or the soul - spirituality is the only thing that matters, ultimately. Only with time have I come to realize that a healthy life must encompass all of the parts lest it derail like that train at the beginning of The Fugutive.
So I'm getting back into the swim of things now and feeling better.
The new directions feel good and healthy, for which I'm thankful.
CRAWFORD, JOSEPH JAMES Joseph James Crawford, 91, of San Diego, passed away on Friday, September 11, 2009, in his Clairemont home. He was born in Minneapolis, Minnesota, on September 4, 1918. He was the third of four children born to Frank and Mary Crawford. He is survived by his beloved wife of over 64 years, Jean. They met as Omaha neighbors in their youth as Jean was his sister's best friend. He is survived as well by his six children, Jim (Phyllis) of Roanoke, VA, John (Karen) of Dunwoody, GA, Jody, Joanie, Jeannine Eddy (Lee) and Jacqui, all of San Diego. He was also so proud of his grandchildren, Joe (Leah), Kelly (Daniel), Katie, Jessica, Bud, Jonathan, Michael and adopted grandchild Candi Lewis of Australia. He is survived by his sister, Mary, and brother, Bill of Omaha as well as many nieces and nephews. He will miss his faithful dog, Duchess, as well as his horse racing buddies; "adopted" daughter Helene Kelberg, Flo Thomason, Wendell Larson and Larry Smith. He was a retired Navy Chief Quartermaster who enlisted in the Navy in his teens. He was decorated for his service in World War II and was involved in many key battles in the Pacific, including the Battle of Leyte Gulf. He served during the Korean War as well. He also was a mailman in San Diego for many years, making lots of friends among those on his route. He volunteered at St. Catherine Laboure's bingo program. His generous, loving spirit, curiosity and love of life have endeared him to all who have been touched by him. A Rosary will be held October 15, 2009, at 7 p.m. at St. Catherine Laboure Catholic Church. A Mass will be given on October 16th at 10 a.m. at St. Catherine's followed by a Military service at Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery at 2 p.m. A Celebration of Life will be held at Mt. Soledad's Veterans Memorial in La Jolla, CA on October 17th at 11:30 a.m. followed by a reception at the Crawfords' Clairemont home. Donations, in lieu of flowers, may be sent to San Diego Hospice who kept him comfortable in his last days. Or, pass on a hug or do a good deed for Joe.
