Tonight I went over to see my Grandmother to break the news about Jenny and me. I was terrified about how she would take it. And the whole ghoulish thing is just so horrible to tell. My Grandmother was wise, and wonderful, and hopeful that the best outcome would come from all this. She wishes well to Jennifer, and was as supportive as I could imagine. I am so, so lucky to have family who always seem to offer insight. I am incredibly lucky to have her. Gradually, word is seeping out into the family. And as my Grandmother said tonight “problems are shared” – which I suppose is a kind of variation on “many hands make light work.” Though I have a hard time thinking that what I am now experiencing could ever be described as “light.” This is by far harder than anything I have ever had to deal with in my life. Though perhaps given time that assessment will change.
Also today I got an email from Jenny’s Grandmother. It was in Spanish, and I did pretty well with about.com’s spanish/english dictionary and of course babelfish – but I had the friend of a friend also take a look to make sure I got all the nuances. This is the first contact with Jenny’s Abuela in some time, and certainly since this started. She is doleful, but hopeful. The recurring theme I keep hearing is that this is normal — problems in marriage are par for the course. The question is how one deals with them. So far, I’m alive, and trying to make sense of it all.