Married, moved, and getting it together.

Long Time Gone 2006 Aug 04

So sleep is a pastime I have been missing mostly. But it’s all good, crap’s getting done.

Of note in particular is that on a personal level, Leah and I are actually a couple, a partnership, a marriage. We’ve made some amazing progress in counseling these past few months. Mostly what we learned is that working together was a big part of our dysfunction in the near past. There was much much more than that, but working together — the process of relying on each other and being together every waking minute of the day — was extremely stressful to our marriage.

File it all under “it seemed like a good idea at the time…”

I have a lot more respect for spouses who work together and don’t want to set fire to their house, themselves, or their spouse. No, not respect, awe. Well, respect too.

That said, what better way to learn and to grow than to bring your marriage to the brink and work it all out? I am so gratified by the results it almost seemed like it was planned all along!

Of course, at the time, when things were a mess, and I was acting like a jerk, it seemed so out-of-control that it seemed like chaos had taken over.

Lo and behold, things have managed to turn in excellent directions.

I’m very very pleased to be married to a wonderful woman. And let me say, I’m a heckuva man.

We match.

Now, granted, there’s still a pile of stuff to deal with, but in the core, where Leah and I reside, things are pretty cozy. Stressors don’t knock us apart the way they once did.

You make me shiver
I feel so tender,
We make a pretty good team
Don’t get exhausted,
I’ll do some driving,
You ought to get you some sleep

Joe Crawford blogged this at 3:22am in 2006 in August. The 4th was a Friday. You are reading this 13 years later. Comment. There are 7 comments Tweet. Send email. It has no hastags.

Comments: 7

I’m SO glad for you both.

Gladness, gladness, I call it gladness.

I read Leah’s site and finally decided it was time to come see what this ‘joe” was all about. Great post. When you wrote “…what better way to learn and to grow than to bring your marriage to the brink and work it all out? I am so gratified by the results it almost seemed like it was planned all along!”

All I will say is been there, done that and yes it makes you stronger as a couple and as a person.

I am glad you are finding happiness.

Experiential learning. Painful, inefficient, but damned effective. Think of it this way: If it didn’t seem like a good idea at the time, you wouldn’t have done it.

That said, I’m very very very happy that the best & most important part survived the lesson. Hugs to both of you!

Michelle, susan m, thanks for sharing. Michelle, thanks for visiting! 🙂

Highs and lows make you appreciate the goodness. The best to you and your lovely wife.

Vince

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