First off, for those of you with no patience, it was a good weekend. No donnybrooks.
Saturday I started off by playing racquetball with Bob Sturm, who soundly kicked my butt this weekend. Enjoyable games, all, but I was not at 100%. Next week. Maybe he was on a kind of a rush from being featured in a Wired News piece? Anyway, that was good.
At noon I walked over to Twigg’s to meet with Jenny. It was a brief, cordial meeting. We hugged, and got on to the business part of what we were there for. We exchanged the keys to each other’s cars. She gave up her keys to the apartment, and we both signed a document I drafted that laid out the circumstances as they are. Jennifer has moved everything (or 95%, anyway) out of the apartment, and is in a place of her own. She will no longer have access to the apartment, but may have “reasonable, supervised access” to pick up stray items and visit our jointly-owned cat. We also did the DMV paperwork to remove me from the title to her car. I also gave her a batch of mail. She’s done many, but not all, of her changes of address. In general it went better than most of the conversations we’ve had recently, and I’m pleased with my behavior.
On a hopeful note, she seems open to several things. to counseling for one, which previously she was against rather strongly. She’s also not so eager to say that things are through / over / finished. She acknowledges that basically the proverbial Fat Lady has not yet sung, and that at this point we don’t know how any of this will turn out. Not that this is ANY kind of guarantee of anything. I still must act in a cautious, skeptical manner. There’s no use getting my hopes up to such an extent that I only feel burnt again.
It’s sort of as though peace talks are starting. We’ve agreed in principle that we need to have peace talks, but we’re not calling off our armies quite yet.
For all that happened, we only saw each other for about 30 minutes. After that, we hugged, and I left.
For the rest of the weekend it’s been busy. I made two trips to Goodwill, bought some groceries, did laundry, went to my cousin’s confirmation, went to Fry’s with my friend Ewon, had Pizza (and Calamari and Antipasto) at Fillippi’s in Kearny Mesa, threw out a bunch of trash, and didn’t do much in the way of online stuff. It was a semi-unplugged weekend.
The capper is that I spoke with my sister, and my Uncle Jody, on the telephone. Jody had a nice analogy for relationships, a spiral dance – you interlock and interlace hands with your partner — and you spin. The more commitment you have (dating, seeing one another exclusivity, intimacy, living together, marriage, kids) the faster you are spinning. He says that in this anaolgy, you can see that if one person lets go, the one who does not let go gets knocked on their ass. The faster the spin, the harder the fall. It also points out the fact that the one who lets go first has the upper hand, they can prepare for the blow of suddenly letting go, and keep from falling too hard. I like this, it rings true for the my current situation.
Anyway, that’s my weekend. I’m tired now. I think I’ll hit the hay.