Married,moved,and getting it together.

The Incapability of Speaking

Lazy Sunday morning. Pretty day so far. Everyone asleep for now.

Saw the boy’s basketball game yesterday — not a win, a little disappointing. We need to put up the hoop we got on Freecycle.


Last night Leah, Alison and I went to see Brokeback Mountain. I did not know what expect. I think I expected cheesy melodrama.

Instead, as in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and The Ice Storm he pulled off something with a great deal of sensitivity — with characters and situations that create empathy and identification beyond what one would think possible.

In particular I think of the Michelle Williams character. She sees her husband doing something entirely unexpected, and she says nothing. She is paralyzed and terrified, and yet she cannot speak. The emotion for me was profound — “If you do not speak, you will never resolve this.” So much sadness in that movie, and I definitely empathize with that feeling of not being able to speak. Something must be said, and yet nothing can be said.

I think of the title of a Harlan Ellison story (novel?) I have no mouth and I must scream. The horrible sensation of having something that must be said and the incapability of saying it.

Not a dry eye in the house, man.

At various times I have and do withhold my thoughts. I cannot speak. I don’t do that anymore. Well, when I do it, It doesn’t last for years or decades anymore, anyway.

Speak your mind. Be yourself. And… Onward.

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