September 11, 2002 Header

Don’t

I think it’s important that folks not presume too much about the precise details of what I’m up to based on this blog. I share honestly here, but not terribly explicitly. It’s frankly not anyone’s business exactly what I’m doing moment to moment. I may hint at some things to be cute sometimes. But the hints are always open to interpretation.

Lately I have a relationship happening, with a woman, that is occuring at a breakneck pace. I think it’s time for me to slow down cowboy and regroup. My counselor is on vacation now but I feel like I need that professional objective voice now. Next week, luckily.

Tonight I made a mistake in my communications with Jennifer. I suggested a change in how we are approaching things. And I did it for selfish reasons. And I hurt her feelings. I told her I’m sorry, but I need to come back from this with more than words. If that makes sense.

We had a previous agreement to go slow in moving towards divorce, and I asked tonight to move faster. I asked this for what I understand now to be asinine reasons. I need to regroup, stop and think for a while about what’s happening in my head and heart. Luckily I have a good support network. Moreover, I’m not making any rash decisions.

In other news, I will be house-sitting this weekend and so will be out most of the next 2 days.

The lesson for me is that I’m going to make mistakes, but that I need to think before I act. Today I did not do that, and the result was hurt feelings.

This may not all make sense, but I need to sleep now.

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