Recruiter Fail

Todays’ Email:

Dear Laurel,
Just wanted to ping you on a few great companies in the LA area looking for PHP talent. Let me describe the positions briefly, and I’ll include links to more detailed information on my website. If you’re interested, you can email your most current resume to [REDACTED] and we’ll see if we can get a match.

From March 5:

Hey Laurel,
I just stumbled across your resume in our database and was wondering if you were interested in this opportunity.

My reply:

Dear Recruiters:

I’ve gotten two of these now, and they both infuriate and entertain me. I am not named Laurel. My surname is not Springs. My first name is “Joe.” It matches the email address you have contacted me at: joe (at) artlung (dot) com. My last name is Crawford, not Springs. Perhaps you’re confused. In my resume, you can plainly see my name is Joe Crawford. Perhaps in another one I refer to myself as “Joseph Crawford.” Also, you can read that in 2006 I had a contract with Laurel Springs School in Ojai, California.

Sadly though, I did not become the owner of that august institution. Neither was I was inspired to change my name to match the school–that would be quite something!! I worked on web applications in ASP and SQL server there. I had quite a nice time working with very nice people. Also, Ojai is very pretty, though it does get warm in the summer.

I appreciate your email very much, but I hope you’ll understand that it’s very difficult to take you seriously when you and your database have failed so profoundly.

Sincerely,

Joe Crawford