April 14, 2005 Header

Married, moved, and getting it together.

April 2006 Thirty-five posts


12 year old boys are to World of Warcraft as 15 year old girls are to MySpace

MySpace can be thought of as a massively multiplayer game, and World of Warcraft can be thought of as social networking tool. Either way you slice it: demented and sad, but social.

Well, since popular kids use either, maybe what used to be the domain of the nerds is now the domain of all.

Welcome to the future.

Moorpark Youth Football (Moorpark Packers)

Moorpark Packers: Moorpark Youth Football: has been updated. There was recently some clarification about the formation of Moorpark Youth Football.

Comment is free: The birth of ambient

Brian Eno on how he came to create ambient music, which has since evolved into what we think of as electronica. Brian Eno is an inspiration to me.

Comment is free: The birth of ambient
So I started thinking about music as something functional… that existed as part of the design of your life. Just like the way you decorated your room or the kind of furniture you chose or the kind of lights you used. They were all kind of issues about how you want to feel… so I wanted to make things that were panoramic in a certain way. Things that have a way of existing in the space and you enter them for a while and then you leave them for a while. I didn’t want this narrative thing to be part of the record so much.

In early 1975 I got hit by a taxi as I was crossing the Harrow Road and was immobilised for a while. When I was lying in bed Judy Nylon brought me a record of renaissance harp music and put the needle on when she left. My speakers were a bit dodgy and one of them had broken – and it was also raining quite heavily outside and the volume wasn’t very high. I couldn’t get out of bed and was irritated, thinking ‘I can hardly hear this music’. Then gradually I started to think ‘well, there it is – it’s going to play for the next 20 minutes anyway’.

Suddenly it started to seem like a really beautiful way of listening to music – instead of dominating the environment it became part of a soundscape. The rain was hitting the windows and occasionally I would hear the loudest parts of the harp notes appearing like the tips of icebergs in this sonic ocean. And from that I really developed the whole Ambient idea – which was more an approach to listening than to composing. It was saying: ‘let’s treat music like painting’.

Now playing: Brian Eno: Taking Tiger Mountain

Leahpeah featured on BlogHer Blog

Pretty cool : Leahpeah: Intrepid Internet Interviewer

BlogHer mission is:

to create opportunities for women bloggers to pursue exposure, education, and community.

Semicolon’s Dream Journal

Sometimes people think your stuff is cool. And somehow, an old illustration of mine inspired a blog post by the enigmatic Craig Conley. Check it out! Abecedarian Web Log: Semicolon’s Dream Journal

I feel honored! And looking at the illustration, which I think was drawn in maybe 1990 or so, I actually still quite like it.

I wonder if there really is a “Dusty, Arizona?”


Overcast today. Good day though.

On the agenda: work.

On the head: uncut hair.

On my mind: serenity.

Running On Empty

One of my favorite movies is Running on Empty. I don’t remember the first time I saw it, but it never fails to move me. It’s about a couple who are 15 years on from a bombing of a napalm factory. They’re on the run, wanted as terrorists. The wrinkle is that they have two kids, boys, one is maybe 10, the other 17. The movie is about the older boy’s struggle with living in a world he did not make. It’s one of River Phoenix’s best roles.
I identify with the movie. Not just one character, the whole movie.
We moved around a lot when I was a kid. We were itinerant. Always moving. The father reminds me of my dad. And the father reminds me of me. He’s circumspect, he’s cautious, he tries to defend the family. He does what he needs to because it’s what’s right. But he’s inflexible, and he always knows best.

My father moved us around a lot when I was a kid. I think I often felt like I had not made my world. What kid does? In retrospect I think I never felt in charge of my own destiny. I think maybe I never felt in charge of my own destiny until I hit my twenties.

The first time I felt intimidated by and proud of my independence was talking on the phone with my sister. I had moved away, to Charlottesville, to work at the University of Virginia. My sister called me, and she was crying. I remember her saying “it’s bad.” My parents were fighting and separated, and it was tearing my sister up. I was 22, and she was 15. I told her she could come and stay with me. I remember hanging up the phone and being shocked at the realization that I had an income, and if she wanted it, she really could move up and stay with me. As I write this I feel sad, thinking about that moment. My parents somehow got through that time in their lives, and together.
Back to the movie. River’s character plays music, and he wants to play music. He’s urged to apply to Juliard. He wants both things, a life outside, and his family.

But the setup of the movie, his family is on the run from the FBI. It’s a great story, and not an impossible scenario. I know there were activists from the 1960s on the run from their crimincal activities as late as the mid-1990s. It’s also a great archetype to use for the struggle between the loyalty to oneself versus loyalty to family.

This is a movie I want to share with the whole family.

The movie makes me cry. The father tells the kid what to do, and the kid doesn’t do it. The father is fun and charming and smart, and he can steamroller the son. The kid is wary of everyone. Taught to be paranoid, taught to NEVER TRUST ANYONE. I still have these threads in my personality.

This is a not much of a movie review, is it?

It’s said that our strengths are our weaknesses, and this is most certainly true. My youth and teen years were the foundation of my life, and in that sense I love them. But I hate them too. So much I regret and am angry about. I look at this film and I see a mataphor for my life. There’s hope in this movie, hope that one can move from the life one has, to the life one wants. And in no small part, this requires the help of family, and forces outside the family. And it requires there to be some trust. And of course, such transitions are always painful.

It’s a good movie. Nobody’s a caricature. They seem like they’re real people, with real motivations and real complexities. Movies distort life. One dimensional characters simplify things in a way that people aren’t. We’re dynamic in ways even we don’t seem to kow about.

The past few months I’ve been getting to know myself again, and not everything is stuff I like. However, I’ve been changing and evolving, growing and learning. Life moves on. As ever, I say “onward” as a way to recognize that life is a journey, a complicated one. A hard one. A wonderful one.



Track meet, some work, chilling.

The day is a little somber. Theme: atonement. They say time heals all wounds. I have trust that that is so.  Though I can scarcely believe it at the moment. Affirmations, don’t fail me now!

I need a haircut, too. Self-serve, or splurge on the real thing?

Decisions, decisions.

“Click to activate and use this control”


This is the latest in a series of failures in the last 24 hours.

Eolas and Microsoft are cheesing me off this afternoon.

JavaScript trim() function

it’s hokey, but it’s a nice basis for some other things. why didn’t i go looking for this last night when i was slamming my head against stupid code? ugh.

function trim(str)
    while(''+str.charAt(0)==' ') {
    while(''+str.charAt(str.length-1)==' ') {
    return str;
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