As I left OB today I spotted a sea lion lying down up the beach. I approached it. It eyed me, its hindflippers twitched. I could see its ribs retracting as it breathed. It was in trouble.
Before that?
It was a great session.
I kept thinking of an old comedy bit. I think it was Janeane Garofalo. I can’t find a reference to it online. Too old to find. Not transcribed.
Or I’m misremembering it. Or it’s in a movie.
The way I remember it Janeane was riffing about skateboarders. Incredulously wondering about 90s skateboard kids–practicing their ollies or kick flips.
“Do you EVER land a trick!?”
I guess when I’m riding waves I have invented a version of Janeane Garofolo in my head to obliquely question my waveriding.
I love to swim so much I don’t listen to Fictional Janeane. Fictional Janeane–who is part of me–must view riding waves as futile. “I’ll never be the best bodysurfer in the world so give up on it.” That must be the theory. Thankfully such perfectionism no longer has power to change me.
I don’t listen to Fictional Her.
I am content trying, and riding, no matter how inept I look. I am having fun. And I am 100% improving at riding waves.
How do you ride a wave to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice.
Back to the sea lion.
It twitched a little.
I called to it. “Hey buddy, let’s get in the ocean!”
“C’mon man, you’re close!”
He–I don’t know how to spot the sex of a sea lion. Maybe she. They struggled onto their flippers and barked at me. They barked again, taking two steps toward me.
I backed away.
It flopped down again.
I know better than to pester a sea lion. The Marine Mammal Protection Act says, in 16 U.S.C. 1361 (6) that marine mammals:
…have proven themselves to be resources of great international significance, esthetic and recreational as well as economic, and it is the sense of the Congress that they should be protected and encouraged to develop to the greatest extent feasible commensurate with sound policies of resource management and that the primary objective of their management should be to maintain the health and stability of the marine ecosystem.
Which means: don’t fuck with sea lions.
I had made myself a threat. And it used what little energy it had to tell me to back off.
Dammit.
I backed off.
I was powerless.
I walked back up the beach. A bitter end to a good time in the water.
I headed to the main lifeguard tower. In the window was a handwritten sign:
WE ARE AWARE OF THE SEAL: WE HAVE CONTACTED SEA WORLD FOR THE RESCUE.
thank you
I hope the people on the Sea World team can help.
I hope I didn’t see one of that beautiful animal’s last days on our planet.
I hope that critter gets another chance to land a trick.
I’ll be more cautious next time.
